Statler and Waldorf this jolly enough Christmas shirt, hoodie ugly sweater

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And afterward, Mom would lead us in (after Dad, so he could pivot and take the custom photo), cushioning in night robe around the bend for that first look at the mystical tree swimming in a sparkling ocean of presents. Our tree had shaded bulbs, long gold meshes of tinsel, and a bombastic icing of silver laurel directly out of Mad Men. Mother's fudge roosted, consistently, in a plate on the table in the front room for sustenance as we attacked the plunder, each present in turn for greatest show. I can see everything before me now, in the sepia tones of a blurring Polaroid, the Instagram of its day

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